All adds up

Now I know what was going on with Alice it’s all become clear. The signs she was involved in CSE were all there but I suppose I didn’t know enough about it to link it to other things going on in her life.

I would urge any of my colleagues to find out more about child sexual exploitation, know the signs, and step in early to help. I just didn’t know enough about it to tie it all together. I’m so pleased she is turning things around and moving forward with her life.

 

Moving on

Just had a meeting with my social worker Sarah. Shes reaallly helping to sort my mess of a life out

I feel free again and it’s all down to my little bro, who stepped up and spoke out cos he was worried about me. I was in a really bad place when I called him. I’d done a bunk to London, thought I could get away from it all there but actually ran out of money and had nowhere to go – what a stupid idea. I called little bro cos I just didn’t know who else I could turn to, who wouldn’t judge me and rant on the phone. He came to meet me and said he had to tell the folks – was pretty p***ed when I knew he’d done that but then the police turned up

It took a while for me to talk about what happened cos I just felt really stupid for being a total d*ck and falling for M and then ashamed and sick about what situation I’d got myself into

Anyway things are looking up – I’m retaking some of my gcses so I can start an art course at college next year and the friends that mean something have stuck by me. They feel guilty for not realising what was happening but I wouldn’t have known back then either

I really hope no-one else gets into the situation I did, its really hard to see a way out. As much as I still have a sick feeling about what happened it’s in the past and the police put me in touch with people who are helping me work it out – its gonna be ok.

 

 

 

Missing

It’s all come to a head with Alice now. I had to actually call the police this morning, she wasn’t home when I got up this morning. I tried calling her, her friends, anyone I could think of. It turns out she hasn’t got many friends now, well the ones I knew of. She must me with M or whatever his name is.

 

I’ve just given a statement to police and they are looking for her, she’s got to be with him somewhere. How has it got to this? We used to talk, she’s my daughter… I just don’t know her anymore. I feel like it’s my fault, like I’ve done something wrong. How did this happen? I just don’t know?

 

This is all wrong

Mum called me today. I really wanted her just to look after me and make it better but how can I even start to explain whats happened. What will she think of me what would dad say?

 

I always know when Im going to ‘pay’ as M puts it. We don’t go out, buys me something new to wear or make up and perfume. I cant do this any more. I really need to get help but M says if I tell someone he’ll make sure I’m shut up forever and nobody would believe a stupid schoolgirl anyway. I’ve actually been going back to school so I don’t have to be at the flat but picks me up from school in his car and hangs around me all weekend. I just don’t know how to talk to someone about whats really going on…

 

How do I get out of this???

 

How do I reach her?

So we had the case conference last week and we agreed that we need to take some steps to find out more about what is going on in Alice’s life but how does anyone get her to open up. I can’t remember who I would have turned to as a teenager.

It looks like things are getting worse for Alice, she’s got so thin and looks really ill. She is definitely distracted at school, all her teachers say she just seems to be ‘somewhere else’ when she’s actually in class. She seems to be on her own a lot of the time. I think she’s worried about something. Something has happened for her to fall out with her friends. They used to be so close.

More worryingly I overheard some of the kids talking about some nude photos of Alice circulating and that she’s been sleeping around? I don’t know how true this is.

 

Trapped

M really scared me today – he’s never been like this with me. He says I need to start paying back my debts – was confused –what debts? ?

When I tried to question him he got mad like really mad, called me a stupid f**king b***h who needs to start paying her way. This evening I found out what he meant.

He brought this guy round to the flat, he came into my room. Oh god it was horrible, I can’t even write what happened… the smell of him…I can still smell it. I feel dirty, used and really scared. 

I was a mess afterwards. M just said get used to it. I tried to leave but he hit me. He’s never done that. What am I gonna do…trapped.