Been at our place a lot the past couple of weeks. Not really at school much, why do I need school when I have M and our flat. M looks after me and gets me whatever I need.
We’ve got loads of mates M knows who come over, we listen to some tunes, smoke some weed and just hang out. So chilled, don’t know why I kept stressing about my GCSEs.
Some of the lads have been doing some coke too – they asked me to give it a try. Might do, M will look out for me. What’s the worst that can happen right??
M has a flat! Well actually he said WE have a flat, just for us so we can be on our own together, no-one else.
Just when I thought everything was s**t and he dumped me it’s all good again, more than good…amazing!
That was the surprise when we met in town. He was sorry he hadn’t seen me but had this surprise for me, then he took me there. At first I thought it was a bit scabby – not much furniture and a bit small but actually it’s ours and it has a bed. M joked that’s all we need! Least I know I didn’t do anything wrong the first time I guess.
Well we spent a lot of time in that bed this afternoon. He took more photos which I said I wasn’t sure about but he said he wanted them so I was always with him and he could remember me whenever he wanted.
I feel a bit funny when I think of those photos. M said all his mates do it and trust him…I guess I will.
I’m really worried about one of the girls in my tutor group. Alice has always been so good, really focused, always handing work in on time, but just recently things have changed. Not only is she off sick more than she is at school but when she is here she is distant.
Alice doesn’t seem to be with her group of friends very much and often alone. I’ve tried to meet with her but she’s avoiding me – not turning up when I’ve asked to see her after school.
I want to help but how do I make her understand? I know her parents are worried too as they have been in touch with school. We have a meeting booked next week but I’m just really concerned about how to approach this and find out what is going on.
Just when I thought it had all gone wrong M text me. His Mum had to go into hospital and he’s been really worried about her and hasn’t been able to use his phone in the hospital – I knew there must be a reason!
Anyway he’s meeting me in town tomorrow. I know I should be at school but I’ll just go in my uniform and change in the toilets when I’m out. Mum will never know, just need to convince little bro not to tell on me, a bit of cash should sort that!
Right need to get on and sort out my puffy spotty face – gotta look my best tomorrow!!!
So it’s been a few days and M hasn’t text still. I’m really confused now.
Did what he said at that dirty hotel maybe I did something wrong?? Its not sposed to be like this…I love him, I hope he texts soon.My friends keep bothering me wanting updates but what can I say? Oh yeah we had sex but now he doesn’t wanna know me – great!
I did get my cr*p together in the end. Hard to believe what happened to me, easier to think that it didnt than admit what I went through. Life is better now, theres some good people out there.
My advice to any boys going through this out there is: shout. Don’t put up with it.
Ill be honest, its harder for us. Girls talk about stuff all the time but we don’t. And sometimes the people trying to help us get it really wrong. They thought I was in a gang ffs but i guess I put a front on it all the time too so it made it hard for people to see.
But if you get a chance to get help, take it. Even if you don’t get a chance find somebody you can talk to. Whatever they may tell you, you wont be judged you wont be told your scum. You can get your life back. Just coz you think no one cares doesnt mean that’s true. Theres loads of people out there – just wish id known that before.
Went to meet up with my couga last night, things got really weird. She wanted to meet at the train station, when I got there there was some guy, said he was her brother. Said she was working a bit later and sent him to pick me up and take me to her house. Dont normally just get in anyones car but they seemed cool, said they had some drugs and stuff and we could hang until she got home. Got a text from my girl and she backed it all up.
We got back there and they had some serious drugs. Wasnt too sure if im honest but didn’t want to not join in. Had already had some booze too so I probably wasn’t too sharp. Lost the rest of that evening, woke up and found I had nothing on below. That sh*t better not have happened. Whatever floats your boat but I aint into that.
Just got a text. Theres some photos and i wanna sick all my insides out. If these get out, I will definitely be moving to a new school again. Wtf do I do??????